Before I get to why I am thankful for 'when cool people keep saying more cool things' I will give a brief catch up...
I just finished my first year of my Theology MA/Ministry Certificate at Villanova and I worked as a Campus Ministry Intern this last year. I met some really awesome students, took two mission trips (one to Winston-Salem, NC for Habitat for Humanity in the Fall 2012 and one to Kingston, Jamaica in the Spring 2013), and one trip to the FOCUS Conference this past January at Disney World! I also had some pretty cool co-workers as interns.
Now I am newly living all by myself in an apartment off campus in a wonderful neighborhood, taking summer classes at St. Charles of Borromeo Seminary, and also working on a Campus Ministry certificate at Franciscan University. I am at Franciscan now, getting ready to say my goodbyes and soaking in all the amazing talks and prayer time I have had. I'm already looking forward to all the great things in store for next year's conference.
Today was a really pivotal turning point for me. Last year was one of the toughest years on my physically, mentally, and spiritually, and I have not really figured out how to recover despite hours of spiritual direction, prayer, sacraments, hugs, and tears. My faith has been different this year, and for the first time, I really felt like hope was lost in a lot of ways.
But then, someone cool, who shall go unnamed, said something to me today, that I haven't heard in forever. It wasn't anything complicated, overstated, or perplexing. But instead, it changed me.
Today several someones reminded me that I am a beloved daughter of God. They reminded me that there is actually nothing I can do that would actually ever stop God from loving me. Not even in a small way, but in a big way! That this love from God goes far beyond the beauty of mountains, oceans, and even the most beautiful scenes in the world. It's how he loves each of us.
I don't even know if it was because I heard that, or how it was said to me. The first time today, it was so direct and intentional when it was said that I was completely taken aback. It was as if God was interceding to me through this person, and was trying to reach me. The other times were just adding joy to this feeling that was trying to burst through all the sorrow that has plagued my heart.
Without saying too much, I have been wandering in a desert, that has been so dry of love. There have been occasional prickly cacti where little pools of love have existed once I could sort through the painful mess to get there. Those that have been close to me in the last few weeks have just been such a great support, especially for my birthday. It was enough, until more sorrow and more wandering in the desert came back.
And so barely walking, I came to this conference, with little expectations that God was going to do anything to change my heart. I was quite wrong.
Without saying too much, I have been wandering in a desert, that has been so dry of love. There have been occasional prickly cacti where little pools of love have existed once I could sort through the painful mess to get there. Those that have been close to me in the last few weeks have just been such a great support, especially for my birthday. It was enough, until more sorrow and more wandering in the desert came back.
And so barely walking, I came to this conference, with little expectations that God was going to do anything to change my heart. I was quite wrong.
This conference has taught me a lot and has helped me realize my vision for the upcoming year that I think God wants me to focus on. It has renewed my hope in the faith and has given me passion to pursue my love for the faith in a new way.
Today, I am so incredibly blessed and thankful, especially to those individuals today, who were able to share the experience in God's love for the first time in a long time.
